This has been a strange week. Last friday My Grandmother passed away. Jean Marie Hermann. I have not felt much in response to her passing. I finally wrote back to her last letter which urged me to marry as soon as possible. I sealed my response inside the self addressed stamped envelope she sent, and placed it neatly in her coffin at her funeral wednesday night. She was Diabetic for most of her life and had serious Heart Disease. She was in and out of the hospital all of my life, her illnesses offering the only real respite from her boredom. She had talked of dying for many many years. Always dropping hints about it as if it were going to happen in the next week or so. She seemed a pretty miserable human being, to me. It just didn’t hurt the way deaths usually hurt.
So, I didn’t work Wednesday. And, I’m not working today (friday), because, strangely enough, a Morelli matriarch also died last Friday. Paul and Steve Morelli’s mother, Tina. She was in her 80’s like my Grandmother. She had rheumatoid arthritis and I think she died of heart faliure. The whole executive staff of the shop at Paul Morelli Design is family. Ah, nepetism. In the jewelry business, it is better to trust your family with your gold than a stranger, I suppose. So they closed the shop today in honor of Tina and so they could all attend the funeral together.
My Father refused to go to his Mother’s funeral.
I realised long ago that my family does not express emotion, does not love, like many other people in the world do. So I am not suprised, I can only go on the best I can and try to understand. My Mother said He felt he had done enough for her while she was alive and that he is tired.
So my hands have a rest this week. My fingernails more tidy than usual. My thoughts more scattered without the usual 8 hours of quiet meditation.
I take the day to work in my studio. Organize, clean. Write.
My camera is out of sorts. I cannot get the pictures off of it. My website is unlinked of itself. the domain name seperate from the site, the site seperate from this, my regularly scheduled (?) writings.
It will take time, but I plan to get these things together. Wish me luck.